Top 5 Traumatic Movies of Your Youth
Raise your hand if you can still remember that one film that ripped out the essence of your childhood innocence with a spoon!
Or as my friend so eloquently put, “fucked me up something fierce!” Sometimes it’s misinterpreting a title of a film like “The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas” as a jolly family adventure, to then realise it’s a soul destroying Holocaust drama about a concentration camp in World War II.
Curiosity, naivety and good old fashion 80s parenting neglect usually landed me in distress as a kid. Ya know, the type of character building trauma that means you now see a therapist every Wednesday! When I was a young wart hog, I willingly watched some truly horrific movies that I will never be able un-see and which still haunt me to this day. They didn’t even have to make sense! For example, Michael Jackson’s Thriller sent me straight over the edge! After a few breathing exercises I finally watched it on mute because the music freaked me out so much!
I asked a few of my friends the films that wrecked their hopes and dreams for the future, and here are a few responses…
“Misery terrified the hell outta me as a teenager at a slumber party! When she broke his feet! I was trying to be all nonchalant but I was terrified!”
"IT" with the scary clown Pennywise!! My god!!
“Watership down!!!! A cartoon about psychotic, sociopathic, murderous, fluffy bunnies!!”
“Jesus of Nazareth traumatised me! So much whipping! Not nearly enough hugging!”
“Moonwalker – Michael Jackson.”
So leading off from this I felt compelled to write down my top 5 movies that were really not necessary and totally inappropriate growing up.
Basically a film where Jodie Foster’s character is horrendously sexually assaulted which an 11 year old girl (me!) should have never EVER watched on my own one Sunday evening after my mum told me to go to bed. That’s all you need to know. Avoid at all costs unless you are prepared to sit in an empty bath tub rocking back and forth questioning all you have come to know and love.
Apparently my aunt who was babysitting my brother and I at the time thought this would be fine viewing material to keep two children occupied! Let’s be real, any movie that tells the story of a Black slave falling in love with a white woman ain’t ever gonna end well! And don’t do it!! Don’t you even think about saying his name five times. Damn it. Stop!
Don’t let a young Kiefer Sutherland or Mouth from The Goonies fool you into thinking this is a harmless teenage coming of age film. It’s vampires. Sexy vampires but still. Any need?!
We all know the story of The Wizard of Oz right? Some chick gets lost in an LSD induced nightmare, hooks up with strangers and then shit goes down over some ruby slippers. Well what follows on from that cute story is far more haunting. It’s like Disney was smoking a crack pipe and then forced you to smoke said crack pipe! The headless witch and the Wheelers pretty much ruined my school summer holidays.
Now, I’ve grown to love this movie and it certainly punches me in the nostalgic feels. HOWEVER, it also feels like Jim Henson had a fever dream moment after eating too much cheese, and then we all watched his awkward improv play with melted puppets! And not to mention the creepy age difference between the two main characters. Any thoughts on a grown man with a giant bulge serenading a teenage babysitter? Wrong.
