All tagged Christmas

Christmas is so close I can almost smell the emotional breakdown I’m bound to have when I arrive home! The kind of meltdown at the thought of spending time with my crazy family as I eat myself into a diabetic coma… because I fail to practice restraint when eating a box of Celebrations. I love my family to the moon and back… but it can be tricky when you’re a grown ass person and your parents still treat you like you’re 10… whilst casually forgetting that I don’t like penis! “So Shem, have you got a boyfriend yet?” Nope. Still very much one of those gays you read about in the news mum! Navigating the Christmas dinner conversation in my household is super important for a successful outcome where we’re still all on talking terms before Downton Abbey’s Christmas special. So here are 5 subjects to steer clear off if you know what’s good for you!
Yes yes it's December! Let's all throw out some sexy goodwill to all mankind and raise our voices... and stuff. But let's all embrace the bitter as hell weather which is slowly but surely killing my soul as well as offering itself as a cute reminder to stop rocking no clothes on a night out... because some of us are nearly 30 and no longer a 19 year old slut. I'm just one of those annoying grown ups wrapped in 18 layers of jumpers who tuts loudly at young women wearing bikini's down the local high street, totally oblivious to the fact that my friends and I were the original big fat gypsy whores back in the day. But I digress...