That One Time I Had 3 Children: Guest Post by Dee Dee Shine Part 2

When I wrote the first blog post, I was a mere mother of one. I thought it was sooooo hard at times! Fast forward 14 months and I now have three children and I didn’t even know the meaning of hard! So here’s part two, the struggle is real!

Plan for my morning: I wake up and after a relaxed breakfast where everyone eats their food politely. I dress my girls in matching outfits and Aidan like Prince George. My sister and I head off to the shopping centre to buy early Christmas presents because I’m so organised and it’s September. The girls are in their pram together and people will approach me and ask me how possibly am I doing it all?! “Is he yours too?” they’ll ask. I'll just smile and say something humble! We'll come home, all three will nap while we batch cook healthy nutritious meals for them and I catch up on my admin.

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What actually happens: They all wake up at the same time, all starving. Aidan throws his bottle across the room and then screams cos he can't find it. He must have his blue blanket, soother and bottle in his hands at all times. Nothing else will do! The girls also scream for their bottles but when I go to feed them they act like its poison. I change all three nappies but nobody is going to get dressed today, least of all myself. Short respite where I try to make myself some breakfast, big mistake. Huge! They can sense this… never turn your back and show your weakness! All are now screaming/crying and nappy changing starts again. I leave them for one minute and Aidan has lovingly bitten his sisters.

Plan for dinner: (in a 4* restaurant) Aidan will sit in his fancy high chair and eat the €10 bowl of soup he's been given. He'll stay there for the duration and other diners will compliment me on my beautiful child. I'll say "I have newborn twins also" and they'll shower me with praise. The girls will stay asleep the whole time so Niall and I can eat in peace.

What actually happens: Aidan sits in his high chair for approx 6 minutes. The rest of the time he's trying to cock block a man on an expensive date. He chooses not to eat his overpriced soup, preferring instead to eat only bread and the Liga biscuit I brought. He wanders around the restaurant with different family members apologising to other diners throughout the day and pulling him away. There's soup in his hair, all over his clothes and he's developed a love for banging spoons on the table. The girls are awake the whole time and we eat our dinner with a baby each. They are also covered in soup.

I've drank two large glasses of white and we leave the restaurant vowing never to eat with them again until their graduations. Aidan waves goodbye to everyone, they wave back.

Plan for night time: Before I say anything about this, nine times out of ten Aidan sleeps 8-7.30ish (smug mother) so he's actually grand. But there is always that one out of ten nights...

Aidan goes to bed at 8. The twins will sit in their pillow, take 6 ounces each in 15 minutes. They close their little eyes and hold hands while they sleep in their cute onesies. Niall and I will drink wine and sit there, knowing we’re superior to every other parent! They all sleep throughout the night and we all wake refreshed and ready for a day spent together.

What actually happens: Mayhem til the AM!

8pm - Aidan goes to bed.

10.30pm- Niamh takes half her bottle, falls asleep.

10.45pm- Fianna wakes, takes one ounce, stays awake and squawks for 30 minutes.

11pm- Niamh wakes, wants the rest of her bottle NOW. Niall tries to feed her. POISON! She cries for half an hour, finally sleeps.

11.30pm - Fianna wakes, wants the rest of her bottle.

12am- Niall and I aren't speaking. We fall asleep.

2am - Aidan wakes. Cries to get into the bed.

2.34am - Niamh wakes, she's in the bed.

3.15am - Fianna wakes, FURIOUS that she's the only one not in the bed.

3.16-7am - All the kids sleep soundly, warm in our bed. Niall and I still aren't speaking!

Plan for writing this blog post: The girls will stare adoringly at their mother as I pen a masterpiece of hilarity! Aidan will sit and read his book. He's soooo advanced! I will smile and look at them thinking how #blessed I am.

What actually happens: Bitch please!!! Chaos ensues!

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