I often say with a disgruntled tone and a twisted judgemental grimace, “how is this still a thing?” And by ‘this’ I could mean a plethora of subjects that piss me off on a casual Thursday. So as I endure what can only be described as jetlag from hell coupled with the inability to decide if I’m hungry or simply bored… Stay with me and my musings, as I try not to vomit or slip myself a rohypnol…
One – Donald Trump
This requires little explanation. But seriously… America. WTF?! It’s like a bad joke that has got waaay out of hand and I kinda feel like I’m owed an apology.
Two – Brexit
Remember that one time the idiots in charge decided it was a great idea to let us vote on something nobody actually understood? And then racist folk rejoiced as it apparently gave them a platform to tell everyone who wasn’t white and British to ‘piss off back to your own country!’ I’m still incredibly embarrassed by my country. The state of you!
Three – Shite Music
If I hear another lazy repetitive beat mixed with a classic tune (ripped from an era when musicians actually had the skills to give us an intense eargasm) I may just shake my fist in the air and moan about it some more. I realise how old I sound but if the vibe doesn’t make me wanna get down like some sweaty hooligan at a Will Smith concert… then I’m not interested.
Four – Celeb Gossip versus Real News
What do Cheryl Cole’s suspected baby rumours and Kim Kardashian’s latest attention seeking escapade have in common? They both share the exact number of fucks I give about them… which is zero. Bigger things are going on in the world yet words like ‘contouring’ and ‘butt implants’ have filtered into everyday discourse. Who do I need to speak to about this?!
Five – Black People and Police
I. CAN’T. EVEN.
Six – Mass Shootings in America
From January up until about 5 minutes ago when I checked a truly depressing website tallying the amount of gun crime in the US, 484 people have died because… guns. The worst part is how desensitised we’ve become when we hear about such atrocities and roll our eyes when people change their profile pic with the hashtag “Pray For *insert another country/state/cause/person here*”
Seven – Girls versus Boys
Why are girls still indoctrinated with the gospel of having to be careful on a night out, but boys aren’t told to not rape? Rape culture is a thing and we need to not only educate our daughters, sisters, friends about sexual assault but start hammering home to the fellas that consent is paramount and a basic human right.
Eight – Free WiFi… Everywhere!
How are we still here?! Why am I still having pangs of anxiety when I’m abroad because the hotspot signal is as effective as AOL dial up from 1997? Or when I’m on the Tube/plane and desperately need to play Solitaire with internet connection without having to pay for some app... whilst traversing perilous dangers of clickbait ads for the pleasure?! GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT WE WANT! FREE STUFF DAMN IT!