The thing with stereotypes is this… they’re usually true. There I said it! It’s out there and I’m not even sorry! A little while ago I asked my best mate what her all time favourite food was… and with no hesitation (and with a hungry almost animalistic glint in her eye), she enthusiastically replied “potatoes!” My friend is Irish.
And then we laughed... because she basically just said "Riverdancing leprechauns drinking Guinness!" The other thing with stereotypes is that it depends who says them as to how you may react. If I like you or I have just eaten, then you can make Cool Runnings references to me all day long in a highly insulting 'Jafaican' accent. But if your face annoys me and say it's a Tuesday, then I’m most likely to call you out for being an offensive prick... and then proceed to start a viral campaign on Facebook to have you publicly humiliated. Sounds fair right? There is also a fine line between stereotypes and just being racist. A couple of months ago I walked past two grown ass men and one of them shouted out to me completely unprovoked “You black mother fucker!” He said it in a faux Samuel L Jackson kinda way and then turned to his friend and laughed. Although I was staggered at how outrageously inappropriate that was, I couldn’t help but think was this random outburst called for... since my hair was looking most excellent that day, there was a soulful bounce to my walk and surely all black folk are cool mother fuckers?! As I entertained that line of enquiry for approximately 3 seconds… It was clear that the gobby bastard was just indeed a bit of an asshole. You see, if you suspect that what you're about to say could be construed as the most outlandish, distasteful statement since Kanye West said he was going to run for president... then it's best to shut the hell up!
Black people have been at the forefront for stereotypes and straight up racism since forever. Listen, we brought it upon ourselves… coming over here with our dark complexions, Bob Marley and lopsided weaves! However some stereotypes with regards to black people I have found spot on.
We love chicken… in any form
Fry it, roast it, BBQ it… just get it in my mouth! Chicken is delicious not because my skin colour dictates it… but because… chicken is delicious.
We can run really fast
Before I discovered the delights of binge drinking and eating my feelings, both my brother and I ran in 100m and 200m track events for our school and county athletic teams. We also won… a lot. Being able to run like the wind is not a stereotype… that’s just bragging and science yo!
We would rather drink Supermalt and chill than go on an adventure
I actually hate Supermalt but my family would bathe in the wretched thing if they could. A non-alcoholic malt drink that is massive within the black community. And the adventure ‘thing’ is also correct. How many ‘based on real events’ disaster movies have you seen where the protagonist is a black person?! That’s because we have no business wandering off discovering new shit! Mother Nature put that mountain there for a reason… there is no need to climb it ‘for fun’ and end up having to cut off our own arm with a Swiss Army penknife because it got stuck under a boulder. Fool!
We can dance
Despite what my friends think and laugh/point at on a night out… I will dip it low… and pick it up slow if and when the music takes me! I don’t know how it works. It just does. Maybe God said “You black folk are gonna be mocked and ridiculed throughout your life, soz about that. So here… go forth with a smile and have the ability to dance like graceful mother fucking gazelles!” And on the 7th day... it was so.