In the movie Dirty Dancing, Penny was just 'in trouble' and NOT having an illegal abortion. In Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts was just… I dunno… really hot and the rest is irrelevant. When I was a youth I was somewhat naïve to ‘grown up’ content in films and songs. I remember listening to one of my dads old reggae cassettes and singing along to a track that went “Lie down gal, let me push it up… push it up!” I just thought it had a catchy little chorus… and wasn’t about some dude (who totally sounds like a sex offender) wanting to fornicate with this ‘gal!’ So with this in mind, I thought I would list my top 5 songs I used to love way back when... that were blatantly too sexed up and promiscuous for my young dumb self!
1. Sweat – Inner Circle
This song was part of my childhood! I remember going to the local roller skating rink with my friends, probably wearing a t-shirt you breathed on that changed colour, scrunchie in my hair, all holding hands in a non lezzy way... and screaming this song at the top of our voices! Apparently rapey lyrics in the 90s were all the rage. “and if you cry out… I’m gonna push it some more… or-orrrrr!” Horrendous.
2. Let’s Talk About Sex – Salt n Pepa
Ok see this song is self explanatory. BUT in my defense I was very young and I just wanted to entertain my parents one afternoon in the back of the car… coming home from church. Turns out my parents really didn’t want to talk about sex with their 8 year old child.
3. Pony – Ginuwine
A classic 90s RnB song that basically is about shagging but disguised with a funky beat and lots of cowboy hats. Now who can get offended at cowboy hats?!
4. Boom Boom Boom Boom – Vengaboys
My friend and I made up a dance routine to this in a Physics class one day and pretty sure we used a Bunsen burner as a microphone. However, we also were very much oblivious to “Boom boom boom boom I want you in my room. Let’s spend the night together from now until forever” Sluts.
5. All That She Wants – Ace of Base
I loved these Euro Pop guys back in the day! I also can recall a school assembly where some friends changed the lyrics into an Easter song about Jesus and Mary! Genius. But who knew this song was about some creepy lady on the prowl desperate to get preggo… again! "All that she wants is ANOTHER baby!" So she's clearly no amateur at getting knocked up. Oh and lets not forget the menacing ending to each verse... “she’s going to get you!”