An Open Letter To Women Who Hate On Women

Dear women of the interweb,

I love you. No really I do! I think you’re magnificent creatures… marbled into brilliance with a certain sassy vibe I'd enjoy to take a bath in! Some of you render my brain to be completely useless whenever I fall ever so slightly in love with you. Others wreck my brain and I sometimes wonder how it would feel to throw a blunt object like a microwave at your head. However, you may all be truly wonderful beings but something boggles me. I often ponder from time to time why instead of uniting together like a powerful weapon of mass amazingness… we actually go out of our way to fuck it up. Yes that’s right! We fuck it all up in such a way that I’m embarrassed for all concerned.

What is the deal with us ladies bringing each other down just so we can stay ahead of the game? Why do we abhor the idea of another female making a success of herself? Is it jealousy, envy, insecurity or all of the above?

The thing is, I’m a faux feminist. I would rather unashamedly watch an explicit Rihanna music video and giggle with delight… (fully aware that it’s bullshit and fairly grotesque), than to bare my breasts and watch my bra burn for women’s liberation. I do however have issues with us women tripping up our fellow ladies out of spite or fear that their mere existence has any effect on our lives. Like what the hell is wrong with us?!!

Women can be bitches. Put a group of us in a room and we will tear each other apart! Either that or it’s embracing a messed up ideology that if "I’m going down… then bitch you are coming with me!" It starts from the playground right through to adulthood and the workplace. “I can’t let her think she’s prettier than me, she’s stronger than me, she’s funnier than me… she’s better than me. I CAN'T LET HER WIN!” So in order to keep the balance, we knock each other down a peg or two. We make each other look stupid in front of others. We ridicule each other behind closed doors purely because we are done with patting each other on the back. The most ridiculous thing is, it’s those women we call friends who we usually hurt the most.

I’ve been on the end of female on female hating because I’ve been new, I looked different or I wore the wrong shoes that day! I have in the past somehow threatened an already existing female bond just by my presence alone. I know right... it's pretty impressive to instil a sense of bonkers insecurity in another girl and make them hate me by accident! Fun. So much fun. We happily bully our own sex in order to make ourselves feel comfortable and it’s got to stop. Why are we competing with each other? I just don’t get it.

*Cue big sweeping statement*

Men seem to be far more simplistic when it comes to bonding with another male. If they like you… you become pals. If they don’t then you’re not friends and they move on with their lives with little heartache and retribution. Us women like to question the whys, the why nots and the ‘but what did I do?’, manipulating fake relationships for fear of being left out. “Why doesn’t she like me?” should be answered with a quick and swift “Who the hell knows… and who the feck cares!” But of course it just heightens self-doubt and a weird longing to be liked by everyone.

We’re not perfect. Far FAR from it. But a little high five now and then wouldn’t go amiss instead of this slut shaming culture we seem to have created and willingly invited into our lives. We need to get a grip! We need to support one another and empower the shit out of ourselves! Unfortunately this is increasingly becoming a struggle when we are constantly seeking out the flaws instead of celebrating how fabulous we can be.

So give us ladies a chance…and give yourself a bloody break. It’s exhausting being a bitch all day long.


Shem x



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