I’m a lover not a fighter! Unless I’m PMS-ing outta my mind or someone is being a bit of a dickhead… or it’s simply a Tuesday and I just hate people. BUT generally I’m not a fan of confrontation. Not only do I hate the bad vibes messing with my chi, but because I usually can’t articulate what it is I want to say. I’m one of those idiots who when the fight is over, thinks of amazingly intelligent witty comebacks and metaphorical sucker punches to kill my opponent with. All the shit I should’ve said at the time… and not just when I’m walking home crying into my Big Mac for consolation. I get so wound up that my best argumentative moves usually consist of exhaling really hard followed by "yeah… so’s your face!" Totally mature and effective. So following this thread of thought I figured I would share some of the most annoying things we all do when involved in an argument…
It’s said (by someone who made it up on the internet!) that arguments are basically 10% disagreeing with the actual point of view and 90% wrong tone of voice. This makes total sense and can be translated to text messages also. If someone hasn’t included a ‘haha’ or smiley face at the end of the sentence… then shit is about to go down! One of the most annoying things when arguing via text is spelling mistakes! You wanted to say “fuck you asshole” but due to your fat fingers and autocorrect ridiculing you, you have sent “fuck you asparagus.” Your argument is now null and void… well done.
When confronting your argumentor (totally just made that word up) instead of coherently forming a sentence of abuse or a most excellent defence against your case, you stutter. You also spit a little bit too which makes you look like an overexcited infant who has just discovered crayons for the first time. Feel free to cry… your arguing skills have no power here.
Another fine example of annoyance mid fight is laughter. You really wanted to tear your worthy opponent a new one, but they just called you an asparagus. You really want to enforce your wrath, but ooops… you’re now laughing and the duel is lost. You lose a go… must go back 3 spaces.
One of my biggest flaws when engaged in a dispute is that I sometimes get bored mid fight and forget my actual point! You could be screaming at the other person, get distracted by something shiny and pretty… and then you have no idea what is happening. So of course you agree to disagree just so you can go back to not caring.
I once witnessed two of my best mates go nuts at each other even though they were both arguing the same fucking point! Classic not listening mixed with a lot of vodka! However would they stop even after they realised they were on the same team… nope! Because rule 5 of fight club… continue roaring your point to the bitter end even if you totally agree with the opposition.