Recently I was going through and expunging old emails on Facebook outta my life laughing out loud at some shit written back in 2007 all the way up to right now. It confirmed something that I’ve known for years… I’m not only fucking hilarious but I also have a really inappropriate potty mouth. However I did come across an email conversation between myself and now an old ex friend from school. I say ex not just because we drifted apart, but because he turned into a giant ball of vile homophobic-ness… and a long story very very short… I told him to go fuck himself.
This ex friend who I considered a best mate when we were 16 and who I thought was highly educated, would use Facebook as a tool to shit stir with hate, and then sit back and watch his friends and idiots like me go mental having full on debates lasting days. So after his latest homophobic slur that included the legendary TV presenter Andi Peters, I decided to simply click the ‘delete’ button and stop wasting my time with small minded pricks. In an email he wrote to me trying to explain his views on homosexuality, he suggested that if he and I hooked up when we were younger then I wouldn’t have a penchant for vaginas. He also included massively inappropriate, eye watering X rated imagery to help me visualise this ‘hooking up’. Sure, if I wasn’t convinced enough that sexual relations with a man wasn’t for me… his explicit, vomit inducing, role play scenario was DEFINITELY going to make me hand in my lesbo card, Doc Martens boots and Ikea catalogue now. Asshole.
Outraged and appalled by his assumption that being gay is a choice I just decided to make, because I was bored and fancied being wild and crazy like all the cool kids… I tried to express to him that it doesn’t really work that way. Like I can’t just wake up one morning and decide that I wanna be white today because ya know… I’m not feeling so black right now. I also tried to say how if being gay was something you can turn off and on; some folk would rather turn it off just so they are not made to feel like shit by obtuse neanderthals.
Needless to say after our eloquent well-structured exchange of “oh my God you’re an actual dickhead” came to an end, we decided to agree to disagree. This was roughly 2 years ago and we haven’t spoken since. Do I miss him… no. He later got arrested for Facebook bullying and blackmail the twat. However the thought of someone assuming that being gay is a decision not only pissed me off, but brought me to this interesting video below. Watch it and then get back to me!