5 Things You Need To Know When Travelling

For those brave enough to sack off the real world for an undefined amount of time, and throw themselves into living a ‘nomadic’ lifestyle whilst clutching the latest edition of Lonely Planet… you will know that shit changes when indulging in the backpacker way of life. You need to “improvise, adapt and overcome” certain issues in order to fully appreciate your trip; otherwise you are just another moaning muppet who needn’t have bothered booking a plane ticket. Here are five helpful 'you should know this' tips on not falling into the trap of being a complete dickhead when travelling.

One

Your judgement on hygiene becomes incredibly blurry and the sniff test is how you measure cleanliness. Wearing a top 3 days in a row as you use another as a towel is totally fine. It’s not like you set out to be a complete minger, but with a little force majeure that renders you sleeping on the floor of a train station incapable of showering and changing your clothes… you have to just suck it up. Nobody is winning any beauty contests whilst travelling!

                                               

Two

People in hostels will inevitably piss you right off! You can’t like everyone and not everyone will find you totes hilar! Sometimes when you’re trying to catch a few healthy snoozes in a dorm room, it can sound like some asshole is unwrapping a million presents and uncontrollably rolling around in plastic bags just for fun. Oh and there will be those bold ones amongst us who think it’s completely acceptable to have sex… right next to you. Super.

Three

If you do not eat or sleep properly you could be looking at a stunning sunrise over the majestic Taj Mahal and not a single fuck will be given that day. Hungry angry is a force not to be reckoned with… so mix this with just a touch of sleep deprivation and honey… shit just got real!

Four

You will not get Wi-Fi everywhere you go. So those who have attachment issues to their interweb device of choice… be prepared to cry actual tears. In the grand scheme of things be safe in the knowledge that yes, Facebook is still shit and your friends still won’t care you ‘checked in’ to the McDonald’s in Tokyo. You missed absolutely nothing.

Five

You will look like a tourist no matter how well you believe those loud ethnic baggy trousers (you will soon disregard when you get home) makes you blend right in! Simply own the fact that you are from outta town. Not so much however that you are taken advantage of like placing your giant sized map on the street… and then stepping onto it so you can really visualise how fucking lost you really are. If you did this even I would want to rob you just after I made you buy fake designer goods.

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