Lesbian Sex: A Myth?

Now don’t be fooled by this title. I am not going to illustrate how to engage in sexual relations with another female and there are no dirty video clips of two women pretending to be gay, rocking bad weaves and acrylic nails long enough to puncture a lung! I just wanted to briefly discuss the often humorous subject of lesbian sex. My best mate who is straight and has nothing but love for me (I think) and fully accepts and embraces my sexuality, has attended Gay Pride, and instigated many debates supporting gay rights text me the other night “It’s not even sex… it’s cuddling with orgasms!” This was in reference to the art of lady loving, and I laughed out loud knowing she was just winding me up… but also because two women riding is a foreign concept to most with popular questions like “yeah but what do they actually DO?”

My first sexual encounter with a girl was a car crash so I am not just persecuting the uneducated heterosexuals out there! I too was like “what the fuck am I supposed to do with this!” Your mind races with what goes where, when and how! As well as the ultimate concern of can I pull all of this off whilst looking semi attractive and not like this…

You see girls have the same bits and the preconceived idea of having sex is like rubbing two Barbie dolls together. Ain’t nothing happening but friction burns! With two guys their ‘bits’ can go together like a plug in a socket and so that makes all the sense in the world. Right?

For many straight friends of mine, what lesbians get up to in the privacy of their own home/toilet cubicle in a club is a riddle wrapped in an enigma, and something that is only discussed when we’ve drank too much and they’re brave enough to ask all the questions… and then some! There is also the thinking that what gay women do is nothing but foreplay for straight couples so in turn, that’s not really sex. This logic usually pisses me off. Just because your model of sex does not match mine, does not mean it’s devalued or written off as ‘make believe.’ Seriously… don’t get me started! There is also the notion that because it’s girls and girls are soft, gentle creatures by nature (or massive sweeping stereotype. Like seriously… have you seen Grace Jones?!)… all we do is give each other butterfly kisses and play with our hair whilst reading poetry for a fun night in the sack!

Women are resourceful, inventive and we don’t need a penis to make shit happen. I know right… shocker.

If you want to find out how lesbians get their kicks, you’re already on the internet so hit up Google! I’m sure you will be enlightened or just confused that little bit more. Does it really matter the journey we take in order to reach a climax… as long as we bloody get there!

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