So sometimes I like to list movies that have emotionally ruined me at some point in my life, just to perk my day up and destroy any hope I have of true happiness. It’s cathartic and totally normal so I would really appreciate your support right now! Listening to Adele and pre crack Whitney (her cool down Disc 1 album!) doesn’t quite do it for me these days. I need to channel my hormonal mess into films that reduce me to magnificent salty tears! So here are my top 5 pick for sad films that are truly wonderful… but will successfully leave you broken by the time the credits roll. Enjoy!
One – Precious
Go to the cinema they said. It will be fun they said. Nothing about this film is fun… at all. I can guarantee that a little part of your soul will die when watching this, and no amount of clapping and chanting “I believe in fairies!” will ever spark that shit back into life. From start to finish the poor girl who plays Precious in this film is well and truly screwed. There are no happily ever afters… just blow after blow of the toils and trouble of ‘life’ completely fucking her over in the most horrific ways. The fact that the storyline echoes so many real life situations is what makes this raw gritty portrayal that much harder to watch. The actors are fantastic, but this is extremely difficult viewing for anyone who has eyes! The only positive is that it will make the problems in your own life seem like a trip to Disneyland! Watch with caution… or if you just fancy being depressed for the foreseeable future.
Two – I Am Sam
I love Sean Penn. I think he is a fab actor! This showcases his acting ability… but also makes me ugly cry for the majority of the film! He plays a mentally disabled single father who has to fight for the rights to look after his little girl. I first saw this at the cinema with my mother many years ago, and I think by choosing this movie I singlehandedly ruined our Saturday night. Crying into popcorn is super fun. The thing about this movie is that it doesn’t give you a chance to calm down from one heart breaking scene to the next! It’s like “BAM BITCHES… let’s see you wail a little louder!” It’s a great film… but my god… tears and self-loathing not so great.
Three – Armageddon
Disaster movies are never gonna be LOLS & bants in fairness! I love LOVE this movie because it’s full of gorgeous people and an unbelievably ridiculous storyline that you initially laugh at, but 20 minutes in you’re already emotionally involved. Ordinary folk get sent up to space to save the world! People die obviously because ya know… the whole mission is a joke. It’s the father (Bruce Willis) and daughter (Liv Tyler) relationship that pulls on heart strings that I didn’t even know existed! Sure lets save the world… but we’re just gonna kill all those you know and love for the greater good! Fuck the greater good! Save yourselves and then you can all die together. Now that’s a far better storyline, and I think the film is poorer for it.
Four – Milk
Another fine Sean Penn performance as he plays Harvey Milk, the first openly gay US politician to be elected into public office. He also gets assassinated. Booo! That’s not a spoiler… it’s just real life and what happened! It was the 70s man… and also America where guns are all the rage anyways! This movie is amazing and really tells the story of one man trying to make a difference in a country where homosexuality was a crime. However… any need to make me cry like a baby?! This biographical movie got me right in the feels!
Five – Brokeback Mountain
If you have no awareness of what was coined as a ‘controversial’ movie then stop reading immediately! This Ang Lee picture told the beautiful and heart destroying story of two men who fell in love. Granted there were other dramatic elements to the tale like the small details of them both having seemingly heterosexual relationships with a wife and kids. Always awkward when that happens. AND of course one of them was a complete closet case. But hey hey heeeey! The course of true love never did run smooth… but this course was littered with nothing but pain and suffering that makes Romeo and Juliet look like a Cinder-fucking-rella story! Watching this film left me silently weeping into next week. It also didn’t help that my gay Irish husband and I watched it in a dark room with hangovers…. And it was a Sunday. Fab movie but you will cry like a bitch unless you are dead inside.