12 Things Worse Than Gay Marriage

 

My friend sent me a video of an anti-gay marriage campaign the other day and it infuriated me so much that my grammar disintegrated and I was left spitting hugely intelligent words such as “fucking fuckwits” and “asshole face.” I also believe I dropped a ‘C Bomb’ in there for good cunting measure. Here it is below… and note the outrageous calmness in the voices!

The debate on gay marriage has been bubbling and hitting headlines solidly for a good few years now and no matter what stance you take on this… if you truly believe that marriage between two people of the same sex is wrong… then you’re an idiot and you need to stop reading my blog right now. Being a gay woman I find people presuming they can tell me who I can and cannot have a loving committed relationship with, fucking offensive. Marriage is not about a man and a woman. There’s a WHOLE lot more to it. Marriage for me is fundamentally between love and love. Plain and simple… so ram your anti uneducated outdated nonsensical drivel, denying the rights of two people wanting to say ‘I do’… til death do they mother fucking part. Ya dig?

So just to put things into perspective, here are 12 things that are so much worse than the ‘abomination’ that is gay marriage…

One

Looking at your bank balance just before pay day and knowing you’ve gone over your overdraft.

Two

Actually calling someone back about a job because texting would appear to be unprofessional.

Three

Weighing yourself and then assuming the foetal position on your bathroom floor because you’re too fat to do anything else.

Four

9 year olds who own an iPhone 5.

Five

The acting calibre of the entire cast of Hollyoaks.

Six

Having to explain a joke that you thought was HILARIOUS and totes obvious.

Seven

Heroin.

Eight

The rudeness of McDonald’s when they STILL won’t deliver to your house on day 2 of your hangover.

Nine

Growing old and being forever in a mood because life is just too much effort now.

Ten

Going out for a meal with a big group of people and being too scared to say anything when someone suggests splitting the bill… and all you had was tap water and dust.

Eleven

Uploading photos on Facebook of dad’s asleep with their newborn baby as if it was totally impromptu and you didn’t have to scream at him to resume said ‘cute’ position for the sake of your new profile picture.

Twelve

Incredibly rude people being all like “no you can’t marry the person you love because it makes me feel all uncomfortable and shit.”

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