So it’s a Monday and I can smell the sweet scent of the ‘working’ week. It stinks of procrastination. I’ve ranted about excuses before and how it’s always so convenient especially as you get older to pull out superb lies to bail on certain occasions. HOWEVER I want to rant again. Not just on excuses but how people use their own shit to make others feel bad.
My number one annoyance of ‘bailers’ (those who bail/decline invitations to events usually after implying they will be there) are those who use ‘grown up’ excuses pertaining to their life. Their excuses usually begin with this “I can’t afford to go because…” and then end with a variation of the following: “I have a mortgage to pay for, I have baby to pay for, I have a wedding to pay for!” And this is all said in a rather judgey condescending tone with an air of “I have responsibilities now Shem… unlike some of us!” Whilst tilting their head ever so slightly and staring at me with vengeful hate! And then of course before I know it I’m apologizing for not understanding my friend’s struggle and crying inside because my life is so meaningless and empty.
Now excuse me as I scream ever so loudly “YOU CAN TAKE YOUR MORTGAGE, WEDDING AND CHILD RELATED FINANCIAL PROBLEMS… AND RAM IT UP YOUR ARSE!” Like bitch please! I’m fabulous so stop making me feel crap just because your life has a pungent smell of shit. Nobody said you had to get married, buy a house or have a baby. These were your own damn decisions so quit moaning about it and punishing me with being the *anti-craic and *un-funnest person because you’re now broke and miserable. (* Yes I know those words are made up but you get my point.) If I can make it to your child’s 1st birthday party (a party they will never ever remember or care for may I add!) then sort your life out and say yes once in a while when an invite is thrown your way.
Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate these huge life changing events impact your social life something crazy, BUT you’re not the only person in the world who has been pregnant, engaged or in negative equity with your house you are beginning to resent! We’re all broke damn it but stop using everyday life issues as an excuse because 1) nobody cares and b) you sound like an idiot.
My friend is getting married next year. She owns her own home, has a car, a crazy cat and will be popping out babies soon enough. (well good for her I hear you cry whilst rolling your eyes) She is also the most annoyingly sensible person I know when it comes to money. However more often than none, she will make sure she’s at all her friends birthdays and bar mitzvahs, can be seen most weeks getting horrendously drunk with me on a school night… AS WELL AS purchasing body-firming cream for £204! Like who does that?! She’s not by any means ‘rolling in the benjamins’ she’s just not a dickhead.
When it comes down to it, we only spend money and make the effort if we want to. It’s that simple. How many times have you heard “oh I would love to come but…” Well fuck you. If you wanted to come you would, so let me just stop you there. If there’s a holiday we want to scoot off to, or drinks in town we would love to cause a scene at… we will find the money to fund the antics by any means necessary. However if we do not care for attending an event, then all of a sudden we’re sooooo broke, have just fallen ill with an incurable disease or just want a ‘quiet weekend’. Bollocks. But alas we all are very guilty of it.
I have found that the older we get, the more our priorities shift… and inevitably the more selfish we become. If something doesn’t suit you, then you’re not doing it. Now this is fine and I appreciate and actually admire those who just say no or tell you from the start that they are not willing to participate in whatever you have invited them to. (Please teach me how!)
Me: Would you like to come to my party?
Honest friend: Not really no.
Me: Oh… ok. Why not?
Honest friend: Because I don’t really want to.
Me: Well thank you for not wasting my time, pretending you give a shit by promising to come, to then conveniently have a fictitious sports injury on the day. *High five*
What really fucks me off is those who bail at the last minute with weak ass excuses… by text message or a simple Facebook comment. Like grow some balls already! They usually consist of an illness or a ‘family emergency’! I’ve been on both ends of this drama… not going to parties because I didn’t feel like it and then feeling horrific for letting a friend down, and more recently having friends ‘sack off’ a birthday celebration because it inconvenienced them. And sweet Jesus it doesn’t half sting when you’re on the receiving end. Yes life gets in the way and yes your own personal life is not the centre of the universe for your friends and family… but just be careful to how many times you bail on those you say you care about. It maybe ‘effort’ for you but despite their protests of “I’m fine” and “I don’t mind”… They secretly hate you a little and probably won’t let it go for a good while! Just saying.