I miss being young dumb and full of... Well I miss being young. The kind of youthful ignorance where your only worries were homework, the only tragedy in your life was Mufasa dying in The Lion King, and knowing that ejecting your Sega Mega Drive game cartridges and blowing into the bottom would fix all problems. I loved watching shed loads of VHS movies my parents used to rent from our local video shop. As I look back, exhale a nostalgic sigh and revisit the films I adored and could watch now over and over again... I can't help but think that some movies I viewed were totally inappropriate! Of course at the time I was too young to actually grasp the point or context of the moving pictures on the screen, but with the fabulous tool of hindsight and age, I can now see how certain films were not exactly 'child friendly' and how my parents probably should have censored some shit before allowing myself and my brother to watch them...
Look Who's Talking
This movie starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley with the voice of Bruce Willis is still a brilliant film! I remember watching this and cracking up whilst being totally overwhelmed by the talking baby. This classic late 80s film was as simple as a comedy about a baby that can talk! The only part I never quite understood was the very random scene at the beginning of the film with all the 'funny talking tadpoles'! It was only years later after my first viewing that I realised that I completely missed the whole sex part which showed talking sperm penetrating a woman's... bits! Jolly good.
Another classic where everyone on a pissed night out reckons their boyfriend can do 'the lift', when in fact you just look like a giant bell end. It's a beautiful love story where girl meets boy, boy treats girl like a complete twat, girl can't get enough, boy succumbs to girl's sexy grinding hips, girl's dad massively overreacts, boy says 'nobody puts baby in the corner', girl and boy live happily ever after! Oh and did anyone else miss the whole ABORTION storyline??!! Like seriously... what the hell has terminating a baby got to do with dancing?! Again at the time of watching this film I was all caught up in the romance... and it was only years later I thought... fuck... that shit is deep.
Cinder-fucking-rella! I'm all about Julia Roberts. She is hot and funny and enough to make my chuff chuff explode with orgasmic pleasure! Too much? Well you get the point. Roberts also makes prostitution seem oh so glamorous and... romantic! As a youth this was just a gorgeous love story of a red head who falls in love with a rich dude... the fact that she is a hooker went right over my head. Big mistake... huge!
The Cannonball Run
Another one of my all time favourite films starring hundreds of old skool famous folk with a healthy dose of sexy shenanigans with scantily clad ladies. I remember a scene where Jackie Chan or his mate or both were watching a porno! How the hell did this shit fly in my 'Christian' household growing up, God only knows. Still funny as hell but as far as I was concerned it was just a funny movie about car racing despite the fact that I couldn't understand why Farrah Fawcett aroused me something shocking!
Tom Hanks in one of his finest leading roles as a 13 year old who wishes to be 'big' waking up the next day as a fully grown man. Genius! He even falls in love with his female co-worker who is a grown up. You find yourself willing this relationship along despite the fact that it's technically a little paedo-like! That sleepover scene is pretty wrong... not gonna lie.
Back to the Future
All kinds of amazingness! A cult classic with a ridiculous plot but one of the best movies...ever! Trying to make my dad go 88 mph on the motorway to see if time travel really is possible, still remains a fond memory of mine. HOWEVER... lets not all forget how Marty McFly's mother actually falls in love with him and they share a kiss!! Yes apparently incest is completely fine and not uncomfortable for all those concerned.
Hmmm... maybe it was because it was the 80s and back then nobody actually gave a shit about content being unsuitable for minors... or maybe we are all just way too PC now where adverts for tampons offends people. (Just for the record... these ads still offend me... menstruation is not fun) Either way these films still remain firm favourites of mine, and if I ever lose my mind and decide to have kids... they will be forced to love my old skool movies as I enthusiastically stomp on their shit 3D glasses.