So we've had about a billion bank holidays... watched Royalty wed and perved outrageously over the HOT sister Pippa... (soz about the hot sister blatantly upstaging the bride!) and unless you're religious/complete muppet you would have been hideously drunk at least once in the past few weeks. This is purely down to the fact that the sun was out and as a nation of pro binge drinkers... it was all about sipping sweet sweet booze in the sunshine!
Pasty as hell English folk were tearing off their clothes and throwing lashings of baby oil on themselves to enjoy a little bit of skin cancer in the sun! So not only were my days full of bitching about the guys who felt the need to flaunt their chav-tastic wife beater vests in my face and of course admiring the ladies who were just rocking near to nothing down the local supermarket... I was also partaking in the gloriousness of drinking shed loads of cider and falling over.... lots.
You see, the thing is... sunshine encourages alcoholic tendencies. Fact. As soon as a tiny bit of sun comes out to play the first thought is "why the hell am I not in a beer garden already!" Yes it maybe 9am but what's your point... just because you want a cheeky drink does not mean you have a problem.
Sunshine also means you wanna live like you're in some idyllic Argos TV commercial where it's all about having fun with your buddies, picnic with the families and BBQs. This is all well and good until you realise this shit is effort yo and only 'fun' if you're shit faced! So in theory you can't even enjoy social gatherings without alcohol... I didn't just make this up... at all. Yeah sure go on and enjoy a game of rounders in the park with your mates sober... and look forward to that asthma attack when you discover you haven't actually ran since school! Orrrr you can drink 18 bottles of cider... feel invincible... take the game of rounders waaaay too seriously... and then wake up the next day in A&E with no recollection of why you have markings that look suspiciously like a rounders bat which has been smashed against your face. Heaps more fun I think!
But I digress...
My point is the summer is not only a time for public displays of affection, (or simply having rudies in public places with your lover) flip flops and amazing sun burn... BUT it's also a time to lose your mind and drink so much in the afternoon that you have a hangover by dinner time. Them be the rules... you must pass go... you must collect £200... AND you must spunk the lot in the booze aisle at Tesco.