FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out


Not only does this acronym sound like 'homo' and 'mofo' but it is in fact my new favourite abbreviation for FEAR OF MISSING OUT. You see... I've never heard of this before and now I'm all over it! I was telling a ridiculously boring ass story to my ever so ridiculously patient and gorgeous buddy about possibly going on holiday with friends and how I've pretty much invited myself. Like I don't necessarily need an invitation to events as I have no shame in gatecrashing parties if it means I am involved! So my buddy turned to me and said "aaah you got fomo!" and I was all like "listen I love you and all but calling me a homo is pretty rude!" (I like to only listen to what I want to hear and in turn manipulate the situation and make the person feel bad about's just how I roll!) Well in fact I just didn't do anything apart from laugh that stupid fake laugh you usually employ when you don't have a scooby what the other person just said! But this time I did think wait... what the fuck is FOMO?!

So yeah. We've all been there so don't act like you don't know. There maybe a party, gig or social activity of sorts where you're not overly fussed about... but as soon as you find out that EVERYONE you know is going... all of a sudden you need to be there becuase you don't want to miss out. You see, I don't need to be put through that horrible and crazy annoying scenario where forever after the said event there are 'in jokes' and tales of "oh remember that one time where Shem wasn't there and we all did that amazingly epically funny thing which can never again be recreated!" Hell to the no! As far as I'm concerned... there ain't no party like a Shem Club Party... and if I am not involved then I will do my best to sabotage that shit so all those involved have a crap time. Yeah sure it maybe your wedding day... but if I'm not there I'm going to try my hardest to cause drama and make you cry. Some may call my behaviour irrational... I simply call it... keeping it real.

9 times out of 10 the 'super cool hip hop and happening' event you were busting to go to due to FOMO turns out to be the biggest sack of shit ever... BUT at least you were there and you can now bitch about how crap it was behind the back of the event organiser/your best friend. You've also taken your mandatory 568 photos to post on Facebook to make yourself seem popular, and tagged all the usually hot looking guys and girls in shockingly shit pics just to show the world that pretty people have ugly days too!

FOMO... it happens to the best of us. Feel the fear and do it anyway.


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