Tis the season to be skint.


Yes yes it's December! Let's all throw out some sexy goodwill to all mankind and raise our voices... and stuff. But let's all embrace the bitter as hell weather which is slowly but surely killing my soul as well as offering itself as a cute reminder to stop rocking no clothes on a night out... because some of us are nearly 30 and no longer a 19 year old slut. I'm just one of those annoying grown ups wrapped in 18 layers of jumpers who tuts loudly at young women wearing bikini's down the local high street, totally oblivious to the fact that my friends and I were the original big fat gypsy whores back in the day. But I digress...

Even though I maybe en route to being 30 at some point in the near future... I still spend money like I'm 17 year old gob shite working at Superdrugs every weekend... getting paid weekly... and then spunking the cash on CDs in HMV... Costa Coffee (because we all wanted to pretend we were the cast of Friends)... and nights out in Bar Med in Aylesbury town centre. You see my problem is that I just don't think I actually transitioned from being a teenager fuck up to an adult... like I must have missed the test on that one. I have 'grown up' responsible shit to pay for now like rent, credit cards, ridiculous phone bills etc etc and so forth amen... but I'm still ejecting money from the hole in the wall and buying all kinds of unnecessary crap even though my bank balance is literally screaming at me to calm the fuck down!

I bought a space hopper the other week. Why? Because it was fun. I also bought a polaroid camera even though there is an app for that! I'm also contemplating buying an iPad even though I am incurring wonderful charges for camping in my overdraft! I also drink too much that on most days you can find my liver floating on an inflatable lilo amongst copious amounts of flavoured booze. Now lets all just sit with this lovely image for a while and try to help me understand that why is it when we all have no money... we still spend like we're fucking P Diddy chilling on a yacht in the south of France?!!

It's nearly Crimbo and so the guilt buying begins where you have to give up your fun tokens to pretend you give a shit about your loved ones. I'm not totally down with this... and I'm sure the baby Jesus would understand! Money doesn't grow on trees like my mother would constantly say as I casually broke my Barbies and demanded I wanted Action Men instead. (could I beeeee anymore gay!) But my mum was right... money is tight and everyone should appreciate this. However I still don't. I am financially ruined by a lifestyle I clearly can't afford.

I would like to say that I will stop being ridiculous with my money... but pretty sure that is a massive lie. I'm gonna be renting for the rest of my life... buying rounds of €20 cocktails (I live in Ireland now!) and purchasing shit that will give me joy for 21 seconds until I file it under 'I'm bored of you already.' BUT it's not all bad right?!




PC Mad: Using the word ‘Black’.

Everybody's Free (To Eat Potato Waffles)