It’s no shock that everyone these days do not actually converse with each other in person or even over the telephone… It’s all about texting and emailing and Facebooking! Although this winds me up and I often want to rebel taking it back to paper and pen because obviously I’m all about ‘keeping it real’ (complete bollox) I too have to admit that if I didn’t use Facebook or text messages, my relationships with my friends would break down in a spectacular fashion.
Now that’s not really my point with this particular rant of mine because I fully embrace the fact that we’re all lazy shits who will avoid any real social interaction if it requires effort. If the answer to my questions ‘Is there an app for that?’ is a no and ‘does it require me to move?’ is a yes… then honey I ain’t interested. Technology has turned us into complete fucking idiots. But I digress… My issue is that when sending messages whether on social networks sites, emails or SMS… why do we say things we don’t actually mean?!
My main gripe is when some friends (platonic non hump-able buddies) say ‘I Love You’ at the end of each conversation. In my eyes, the only reason you should be throwing around the loves you to a mate is when you’re shit faced on a school night and you’re swaying along to Westlife’s ‘Flying Without Wings’ (this definitely never happened to me… obviously.) When I’m sober and you’ve just text me and asked me how my day is… and then you smash a random ‘I Love You’ in my face… please don’t be surprised if I deflect this awkward declaration of love with a ‘thanks.’ I’m not gonna say it back if I don’t mean it or it’s just not appropriate. Soz. I can be super sentimental when I want to be so I’m not a total bitch… but if we’re not best buddies, making out, drunk or all 3… ease up on the L word.
The second faux pas is closely related to the ‘I Love You’ and it’s the fecking kisses (x) some people put on the end of messages! When you’re texting back and forth with your friend there is no need to follow up every message with a bloody ‘x’. One of my mates had a go at me recently because I was not ending my texts with a kiss… but he is gay so his opinion doesn’t actually count for shit! If we were having the conversation in real life I would not be trying to kiss you every time I answered a question or finished my fucking sentence because that’s straight up weird. I do add kisses if I’m signing off or I'm not menstruating… BUT excessive use of affection makes me queasy.
And finally the worst thing people can do when communicating is using the bloody LOL’s and haha’s when things are just not funny! Now did I make a funny? If so then please enter your ‘haha’ where appropriate. However, don’t patronise me with your ‘haha’ when the joke I made was clearly shite. I also LOVE it when folks are trying to make a point or have a dig at you and then they follow up with a ‘LOL’ or ‘Ha’ which is loosely translated as “I am genuinely pissed off at you but let’s pretend that I’m just joking so we don’t have to really address the problem and then ultimately have a fight… you complete tosser.”Awesome.
Now although I find the above terribly annoying… I am also a massive hypocrite and can be found most days carrying out such crimes. But it’s all about do what I say… and not as I do right?!