Just Not That Into You... Soz!

Sometimes shit just happens. You may not like it all that much but you need to suck it up, build that bridge and get the fuck over it! Sometimes the object of your desire may not return your amorous/psychotic behaviour, and no this is not because they are playing hard to get or it’s some kind of Jedi mind trick where they secretly love you deep down… over the rainbow… in the land of make believe… they’re just not that into you.

Hollywood and fairy tales only exist in the place where you sleep at night… your dreams baby! Such stories of everyone living happily ever after were made up by people who like to make themselves feel better about a crap existence/reality, and fairy tales were created by crack addicts who smell of urine and the introduction of LSD in the 60s. Fact! I didn't just make that up... at all. Movies and friends of friends who knew a girl who one time did… (insert ridiculous ‘act of love’ which actually constitutes as stalking) and now she has her partner and they are now married with babies, are the exception to the rule. The rule is thus: If the object of your desire acts like they really couldn’t give a flying fuck about you… then they really don’t give a flying fuck about you.

Do not get this muddled and do not start thinking the reason they haven’t called/emailed/text/beat some drums to communicate hides some genuine reason like they are ill/dead/have no signal/lost your digits. The reason your honey is not blowing up your phone all day everyday like you so hope and wish for is because quite simply… they’re busy doing something way more fun/interesting or just having sexual relations with someone who aint you! The key to staying sane when you have called your mobile phone provider to check if there is a problem with your network is to accept that you are the rule! Exceptions to the rule do exist… but few and far between. Turning up at your obsession’s house in the middle of the night… in the rain… with flowers/cake or holding a boombox above your head, only works on TV. Do that in real life and you will get your ass arrested as well as looking like a massive desperate prick!

Now don’t get me wrong as I’m no guru on love or dating, but I have in the past failed miserably in the love game and I have acted like a complete tosser when it comes to unrequited love… and so I can only offer this advice to help you avoid being a tosser too! If someone wants to be with you then I truly believe that they will go to great lengths to make that happen. If you are still staring at your phone or are refreshing your inbox awaiting your ‘love’ to hit you up… then put the phone down or step away from the computer you freak!

In My Best Friend’s Wedding starring Julia Roberts there is a scene where she is chasing her obsession down the road and he is chasing his fiancé down the road… and then Julia Robert’s mate says to her ‘who is chasing you?’ The penny drops… she is chasing someone who is chasing someone else but there is no-one chasing her. Give it up! If there aint no-one chasing you then try and scrape up some of your dignity and self-respect from where you left it last… and invest your time in someone who does actually give a shit! Maybe when you have finished crying into your pillow at night you will realise that you were not really into that 'special someone' as much as you originally thought... you were just bored and wanted some attention!


Airport Rage

Gone Walkabout