Say what now...?

I don't really know why but I have always wanted to learn sign language. Maybe it's because I wanted to broaden my mind and embrace another language... or maybe it was because I just wanted some attention as I thought it looked kinda cool. (Probably the latter) Either way the fancy hand gestures always fascinated me. You see those little people in the corner of your telly when you're trying to watch Hangover Hollyoaks on a Sunday, and even though I often think "get the hell out of the way you are distracting me from this awesome dialogue and fabulous acting" and "seriously why are your expressions making you look retarded" I do have a lot of time for this cryptic code.

There used to be this deaf dude who would get my train in the morning when I was living in South London and he always would say hello and we would be ever so British and merrily complain about how late the train was running. Now of course he would sign at me but it was obvious what he meant as hello was the universal hand gesture of a wave and when we would bitch about the lateness of the train, he would usually point at his watch and make a disgruntled face. Even when I was new to the area and getting on the wrong trains or platforms, he would help me out and tell me where I had to go. All in all he was lovely chap and I really wanted to sign some fancy stuff back at him like 'thank you, you've saved my life' or 'cheers for pointing out I have bed head and a bit of toast stuck to my face'. However instead I would do these ridiculous over the top gestures and facial expressions as if I was talking to a child. All I needed were big clown shoes and a red nose and parents would pay me for this shit. He never seemed to be offended but I was embarrassed for myself.

Soooo... my new 'thing' this year is to learn some sign language. I have 3 mates who do this already and so now I want in. Granted this maybe like me wanting to play the saxophone I bought 2 years ago for a million pounds and its still sat in the case in my room doing f*ck all... BUT I still want in!

I went to a friend's house last week (we got pissed. it was fun. my liver is broken.) and she is super clever and works for a deaf charity so she can do the whole signing she-bang even when she doesn't mean to, especially when she's drunk! So I got her to show me some stuff. I learnt 'Lesbian', 'Clitoris', 'Hot' and.... Rain! Oh and another friend showed me 'Bullshit' So urmmm yeah, I think I am making progress already.

Oh and FYI... that spangly hand thing we all did at school when we were about 10 which was so supposed to translate to 'f*ck off'... it's a lie! I was gutted.


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Have you ever... ever felt like this?