Retro games and childhood rage.

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Ever felt the need to slap a Nintendo DS out of a small child's hand and scream at him or her that it will never compare to Tetris on the original Gameboy...? Or have you ever wanted to trip up a young person on a motorised scooter and chuckle to yourself thinking that it would have been less dangerous if they were playing Top Trumps or figuring out how to solve a Rubix Cube?? Or is that just me... *ahem*

We all love the sweet scent of nostalgia and reminiscing of times past... childhood toys, games, music, fashion and telly! Verbal farting and revolting rhymes of everything old skool!

I'm not a violent person (much) but I would have easily wrestled a fellow school friend to the ground and given them a Chinese burn until they cried in order to get a go on their fancy Donkey Kong game. Granted the graphics looking back were pretty poor by today's standards, but at the time the heavily pixelated screens were top notch technology. These orange split 2 screen game were the business and being a massive tomboy as a child, I didn't just want an amazing Donkey Kong game... I needed one! Soooo being the spoilt brat I was/am I threw my toys out of my pram and made my mother buy me an 'awesome' LCD game with 2 screens just like Donkey Kong... but wanting to be different and red being my fave colour at the time, I went for another game with a rubbish name! Something to do with bank robbers and trying to get to a bomb before the police caught you. Basically the game was shit and the 2nd screen was only for show and didn't even work!! Nobody in the playground wanted to play on it. Gutted. Anyway, I'm sure there is a moral in that story somewhere but I digress...

 By far my favourite hand held game was the TomyTronic 3D game. I had the white one which was the car racing game. You would look through the binoculars into the small '3D' screen and the object of the game was to dodge the incoming traffic by going left to right. I would wear this game around my neck in the playground thinking I was queen bee when in fact I probably just looked like a massive knob. 

Before the advent of fancy pants hand held game consoles like the PSPs and DSi Lites etc etc we 80s kids bordering into the early 90s were entertaining ourselves with the likes of Nintendo Gameboy, Atari Lynx and the Sega Game Gear. Such games as Track and Field which blistered your fingers and broke the buttons on your console trying to gain speed in the 100m sprint, or Kung Fu games with the total of 2 special moves per player! These were the games which delighted and entertained a whole generation of kids, as well as parents having to admit that their child had anger management issues when the dreaded 'You Lose.. Game Over' text flashed up on the screen! My brother's Gameboy was flung across the bedroom many a time on a daily basis.

I say screw the new fangled game consoles the youths are playing on today and bring back the retro 2D games! Why can I no longer buy these in Argos damn it! I don't want to hunt on eBay or go to car boot sales to find the consoles and their game cartridges. Bring the vintage gaming back into the mainstream! Viva la Retro-lution! Who's with me...???   

The mover and shakers of the classic handheld game consoles.

English Lit/Shit.

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