Being a massive homo can prove to be quite difficult for most people. Most of my gay friends had pretty horrific/funny as hell experiences when it came to admitting that they either enjoyed touching willies or bumping fannies! One friend stupidly left his diary unattended (a diary which told tales of hedonistic nights in some of London’s notorious gay hot spots) of which his father promptly read… and then promptly kicked him out of his home. Another mate was caught in the sack with his ‘best friend’ having a naked sleepover! I recently spilled to my over protective big bro my ‘dirty secret’ after he simply asked me how my day was one sunny afternoon… and that day I just so happened to be having an emotional break down and felt the need to blurt “I’m gay” down the phone. Cue some cringe-a-licious silence where I was expecting him to shout lots/disown my ass/hang up BUT instead he just apologised for making me wear a pink bridesmaids dress to his wedding!
Yes the art of coming out to your nearest and dearest can be a fudging nightmare. You stress, you cry, you blame Hollyoaks for infecting you with these fanciful thoughts, and you get pissed off that nobody can smell the gay on you no matter how many copies of The L Word or your ‘Top 100 Musical Show Tunes’ you leave lying around.
If you’re not confident enough or simply not ready to make that leap of gayness then no pressure… as your family and friends probably already know! Seriously… they do have eyes after all, and your short hair, comfortable shoes, Feminism for Dummies book, and penchant for vegetarian food aint fooling anyone you filthy lady lover!
Now sit back and enjoy a scene from one of my all-time fave movies “But I’m A Cheerleader” to see how admitting you’re a homosexual should really be done!